About me

I have been a Christian since I was 12, and I came to faith through reading a Gideons Bible during a year of difficult changes in my home life.  After some wonderful years of spiritual growth I spent 4-5 years out of church during which I had my daughter and began to sink into addiction.  It was not neatly swept away when I came back to God and I continue to struggle with my sobriety.  I am, it seems, an accidental Anglican – my spiritual family is at a Church of England church in Bebington where I am learning how to serve in the body of Christ using the gifts I have been given.

I am a doctor, and swing between that being who I am and what I do, working in radiation Oncology.  I am long term disabled after an injury in 2012, after which I stopped drinking entirely for 2.5 years, and for the vast majority of the years since.  I am an alcoholic and addict (now that’s definitely who I am not what I do!!!) and I have many of the weaknesses that are documented within the ‘alcoholic’ personality.

My only daughter was adopted in March 2013 as a result of my alcoholism. She was 6 years old.  I miss her daily.

I am in the midst of recovery – physical, emotional and spiritual.  We never get to know – as Aslan says, in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, what might have been.  I try not to torture myself.

Why blog? The short answer is that writing is my gifting.

Initially I started because there didn’t seem to be that many Christians in addiction recovery and when I looked for that voice in the midst of my chaotic illness, I couldn’t find hear it.  No-one seemed to be saying that my God, in whom I had believed since I was 12, had saved them from addiction. The very few I did find condemned addiction as entirely sin (more on this in some of my posts) and this would send me down into a spiral of self-pitying unworthiness and depression.  The “God of AA” wasn’t enough – I believe in a revealed God, through His Word, but I could not stop drinking.  The only solution for helpless, hopeless alcoholics is a spiritual solution – for me it is the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, not only able to save me in the next life but also in this.  I couldn’t find the voice of anyone who had survived through the adoption of their beloved child(ren) or anywhere to talk about those issues without judgement.  I spent months wondering if there was a need for someone to talk about these things.  “Here am I, Lord.  Send me”.

I’ve picked it back up again after hearing God’s reminders – somewhat continually over the years – and forced myself despite the acquisition of Crohn’s disease and its glorious (not) complications and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) to make time to write.  It may not be all that frequent but I think I still have a voice that might be helpful to be heard.

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3 Responses to About me

  1. Jeannie Pallett says:

    I survived! I survived giving up my daughter and placing her for adoption. I just want you to know you have found a voice and an ear. I applaud you for not drinking any longer and I encourage you to find all of your hope and expectation in our Lord Jesus Christ. He will never ever fail you and will meet the deepest needs of your heart. I know the pain of adoption and also know One who is well able to bear all of mine. He will bear yours as well.

    • Sarah says:

      Thank you – what wonderful encouragement, and for taking the time to read and share. God bless you as your own journey continues and thank you for showing me that there are brighter days to come.

  2. Maria says:

    Wow, thanks for sharing your story here. God bless you, your husband and daughter

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